sighz... im feeling that sudden emptiness without vanessa here.. she left like a few hours ago, as far as i know she won't b'coming bac 4 a very long time.. i'll be missing u darl.. u always lighten the day.. the days when u were here always seem brighter, teoratically n metaforically speaking.. take care k.. don't ever forget us bac home..

shit.. there's no 1 who actually cares.. i remember when i went 2 UK 2 study 4 1 year, it was so easy 2 blend in. within a weak i had friends who actually cared, i mean like i could actually talk to them about stuff. We were all like so close n stuff but here in penang its so hard. I think its already been 5 years n i still haven't manage 2 blend in. i had a group of frens.. didn't work out that well, so i decided to get some new friends, thought that there will be hope but then, it looks like its gonna end up the same way. I can't actually talk to anyone, i mean there's no 1 who i can actually cares.. there's not even 1. Shit what am i suppose 2 do now??..

y am i sadd... i shouldn't be.. urgghhh.... silent life of mine taking its toll all of a sudden...

Confused
Confused state. i don't know where my life is leading me to.. did i make the right decisions..?? should i have entered arts stream..?? am i mixing with the right group of ppl..?? is that going to make my life more miserable than it already is at the moment..?? am i gonna end up a screwed up person at the end of it all..?? y am i wasting my time doing my "life" which has become some sort of a cliche..??

Wishing everyday, that it would just end, knowing it wouldn't. All the tears that left n the ones still in me, which i feel the pain practically everyday. Sometimes the taught of finishing it all with a final blow n making a mark, that the world would remember 4eva but would i. Would i have the guts to carry it out. When reaching the climax would i have the guts to commit ...... ???